Attitude: 4th Year of Long Distance

 mixed with ...

 

It's like the next phase will never start.

 

 

 Where did happy/ optimistic me go? Below is my attitude the last few weeks.

Away Rotations

The Fiance is preparing to apply for away rotations...

Helpful MD track definitions:
Away Rotation: AKA "aways"...A 1(ish) month trial period at hospitals around the country applied for and completed during medical school in years 3/4 in the specialty of your choosing

Residency: Applied for during year 4 of med school. Interviews held in the winter of ms4. Match Day (AKA "The Match")  in March of MS4 is when you find out where you will complete your training immediately after graduating med school. Residency is 3 years for non surgical specialties and 5-6 years for surgical specialties. See the tab "When I Grow Up" to understand more about the residency application process.

 I am very grateful he asks my opinion where to do "aways"! From what I understand, doing an away rotation  gives you a leg up on the competition for interviews for residency at that particular hospital. Although I am very confident in his CV, very bit helps to ensure you get your top choice for "The Match". He has told me that his impression from people who have gone through this process is to NOT limit yourself. If a hospital for the residency applications see that you have only done away rotations in the Mid West then they interpret it as you are not willing to move; thus, they don't rank you or even invite you to interview. It would be in his best interest to spread out his away rotations to make sure places know he is willing to commit and move. These "aways" are quite pricey though. Each rotation cost $2000 to be there added to finding an apartment for the month, car rental, plane tickets, etc. He is looking to stay with friends or family.

This weekend we narrowed it down to an away at Mount Carmel Hospital in Columbus (since my job is near) and one in either Miami or Orlando. No guarantee he will be accepted into these hospitals for "aways" though. Updates to come!

 

Wouldn't this be nice!? (writing this in the dead of winter in Ohio)

Valentine's Day Long Distance

Will you marry me?

This was taken right after we got engaged about 8 months ago. Just a few days after school let out, he came to visit for the weekend. I had picked out the diamond and setting but had not yet seen them together. Dating for 8 years then I really didn't want to be surprised. I was pestering him pretty good the night he came in since the jewelry store had called me to tell me when the finalized ring would be in for pick up. haha Imperfection is perfect for me. He wasnt happy. I was full of ideas that night about how he would ask. I knew it was soon! That morning I woke up to him on one knee by the bed! :)

He later confessed to wanting wait to pop the question until we got to both our hometown to ask me by my favorite spot at my pond but thought it too mean to make me wait any longer. Love him <3

Puppies, Metal, & Diamonds

It seems like all of my co-workers are getting houses and puppies. Ok... not all... 3 of them. Dr. Fiance and I   went to a puppy store over the weekend. He wants an English Bull Dog named Tupac. I have always had German Shepards. We were very close to picking one up but cooler head prevailed thinking about our upcoming wedding.

Our next stop was to a jewelry store to look for mens wedding bands. We did find one for him. Pretty awesome design! It was I think tungsten with a copper band in the middle and had a 1/2 carat of diamonds.

JBR Jewelers in Lancaster, Ohio

Source: ibtimes.com via Caila on Pinterest

Again, knowing we had 16 months before the wedding, we ignored the sales lady's pitch about 20% off... layaway... no interest for 6 months... and walked away confident we would be back.

He said a lot of the guys wear their wedding bands on a necklace during surgery since they have to take it of to wash their hands so much. Fun Facts.

A Fractured Fairy Tale

I just had to laugh. 

Dedicated to all ortho wives in training. It's not perfect but I wouldn't have it any other way.

New Reality Show Title???? :)

The Next 16 Months Are In God’s Hands

I cannot believe the amount of LIFE that will be lived slightly more than a year. In the next 16 months, our lives will change drastically due to some factors in our control and many of them OUT of our control. We are in the stage of researching orthopedic surgery residency programs for him to apply. All these apps are due around Thanksgiving of 2013. Most who have been through the process before say that he should apply to about 50 or more of the 80 programs nationwide. The application (like everything else these days) is not without cost. I guess they operate on a “if you apply to X many programs, the price is ____ ” and “If you apply to Y many programs, the cost is _____”.  I think this will definitely eat into our honeymoon money. Sad face. Once his apps are sent into the different programs, we wait…. and wait.. until a school calls or most likely sends an email asking for us to travel to the school for a few days. AS I have said before, some schools have a “dinner” the night prior to the “real” interview just to see how your dynamic meshes with the existing/ newbies. (This gives me about 8-10 months before I need to look like a trophy fiancé. Not joking unfortunately.) My appearance is directly proportional to his first impression. No pressure.

After all he interviews have been completed, we as a couple will literally rank in terms of #’s which program we like best, 2^nd best, and so on so forth. (Spark Curiosity Here!) Where would l be ok with spending the next 5 to 7 years of my life?

We have so many options to consider!

His main concerns:

1.   Does he fit in with the staff?
2.    Does the program have a Sports Medicine Fellowship to prevent moving again?
3.    How selective/ competitive is the school interviewed? prestigious?

My main concerns:

1. How close is it to both our hometown for future Grandparents?
2.  How is the cost of living in the area?
3. Is there a job for me? Can I easily transfer my teaching license to that state?
4. Should we rank Columbus, Ohio in the top 5 simply because I have a job I LOVE already?
5.  Would buying a house or renting be more cost effective?
6.  What are childcare costs?
7. How many hours does a typical resident work at that program?
8. When it all boils down, I struggle with only one thing:

“Is a prestigious residency program worth putting my goals aside?”

The answer 9 times out of 10 is, “YES”. Although I would love for him to create a seamless transition for me and end up at OSU in Columbus, I feel so selfish. He has a great top 15% of the country Step 1 score, potential AOA, and few research articles. As far as I know, is CV looks pretty good! What if he can get into say psh…Harvard? Is it worth the cost of living and putting off having kids? I think I’m starting to surprise myself. YES! HANDS DOWN I would go to a prestigious residency program for the bragging rights! Haha. Of course, I am likely over estimating and dreaming too big. You know what though…. It gets me through the days of long distance knowing in the end this craziness will all be worth it in the end. Sigh.

Top 10 World New Ranked Ortho Programs as of 2/5/2013:

Information found at: http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/orthopedics

National Rank	Hospital	U.S. News Score
#1	Hospital for Special Surgery New York, NY See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in New York metro area and New York	100.0/100
#2	Mayo Clinic Rochester, MN See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Minnesota	85.6/100
#3	Cleveland Clinic Cleveland, OH See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Cleveland metro area and Ohio	76.6/100
#4	Massachusetts General Hospital Boston, MA See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Boston metro area and Massachusetts	70.7/100
#5	Johns Hopkins Hospital Baltimore, MD See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Baltimore metro area and Maryland	68.7/100
#6	Hospital for Joint Diseases, NYU Langone Medical Center New York, NY See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in New York metro area and New York	67.5/100
#7	Thomas Jefferson University Hospital Philadelphia, PA See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Philadelphia metro area and Pennsylvania	67.1/100
#8	Barnes-Jewish Hospital/Washington University Saint Louis, MO See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in St. Louis metro area and Missouri	66.7/100
#9	Duke University Medical Center Durham, NC See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Raleigh-Durham metro area and North Carolina	65.4/100
#10	UPMC-University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Pittsburgh, PA See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Pittsburgh metro area and Pennsylvania	63.5/100

 I need to start researching these teaching hospitals HARD in the next few months. Ultimately to keep from going insane, where we end up is the work of God. Everything happens for a reason.

This wedding video hit home:

"It feels like Home" might be the theme song of our wedding. After long distance and the process of moving together in a potentially new city for residency all that matters is you ARE my "home".

Song found at:

http://brookeannibale.com/Final/home.html 

The Greater Your Patience, The Greater The Fairytale

I think after dating for 9 years and engaged for almost 2 years before we will be married (mixed in with 3 years so far long distance) kind of makes this guy with a bear hat correct...

The Second Wife Is Usually A Model Type

 I saw a quote the other day that read "Well, doctors' FIRST wives are usually normal. They've been through the hell of medical school, residency, loneliness, raising children alone, etc... and are too exhausted to look put-together all the time! The second wives tend to be more stereotypical (read: young, model types)."

I immediately messaged the fiance the quote. The next day when I got a chance to talk to him, he asked "What was that about?" Definitely was good to talk about future expectations, but I still feel unsettled. I am typically a calm person but very insecure. This fuels my drive to eat healthy and workout I suppose.

 With him being MS3, we have an exciting year coming up. Many of the women I know who have been through the residency interview process already have explained some programs will invite you cocktails with the current residents the night before the BIG interview. Supposedly it's to see how you both mesh with the current staff dynamic. It makes sense. Residents work 120 hours a week. Wives need to be supportive for the "Dr" hubby to keep his head on straight at work. I get it. I just wonder if how "hot" I look is a direct correlated to people's first impression of him.? 

Being the first born grandchild out of 11 has always led my to think about how my actions influence others or will lead others. I'm used to people looking at me. It's just programmed into who I am. I often get caught up in acting "perfect". No surprise in this case of my future husband's career, I am having the same concerns. 

Deep.

  

Stages of Wedding Planning

(24 month out) Engaged:

First Thoughts:

Budgeting:

Venue Picking:

(16 months out) Result/ Mood:

I just want long distance to be over and us to live happily ever after.

Our Lives Are A Different Type of Romance

I am sadly constantly bugging him about next year and where we might live for residency. My heart goes out to him for more than one reason. He is our conversation as of tonight.

can u tell me about my life

i need it

pretend

go

now

please

lol

well you get to spend the rest of it with me!!!! dont know if that is good or bad

more

go

go

come onn lol

well we will be getting married soon which is nice then get to live together which is nicer, then after we get settled in we can start thinking about babies assuming you are in the right state of mind, then after some hard work it will pay off and we will be able to have all of the things we ever wanted

thats the most romantic thing you have ever said

im serious

smiles

He is kind of amazing.

A Long Distance Long Weekend

A three day weekend with my long distance fiance....

"Why are you working???"

So at my old roommates bridal shower I hear one of her guest ask “So your getting married to a doctor, why are you working?” I don’t think my frontal lobe has ever worked so hard to keep from reaching over the table and strangling her! I paused as the group around me (knowing all to well my feelings on the subject) looked around and waited for an eruption to occur. About 10 seconds later after whipping the “are you crazy” face off my expression, I said “…because I have goals and ambitions.?” My roommate jumped in and said “yah- she was never the type of person to just sit on the couch and do nothing even when I lived with her. She was always up doing something.” (Rolled my eyes..Bitches be crazy.) I mean really??? Do you think I started dating my fiancé when I was 15 because I knew he would be a doctor. Bahh! The nerve of some people.  I proceeded to give her a lecture about residency pay and medical school loans. (Please see the tab: When I grow up...) Happy ending to the story though! – She left well educated. 

Yes... I judged you silly girl for not having ambitions and goals. I happen to love what I do.

Diamonds Still Sparkle in Shadows

Perfection is something that I have always found captivating. Daydreaming about the perfect way I should look, the perfect man, the perfect house, the perfect family, lifestyle, car, and profession are all ideas both terribly and wonderfully fascinating. The daydreaming of this lifestyle is a secret pleasure. (And for the record, I hate the word “pleasure”. Some part of me thinks it’s due to the fact that everything pleasurable is not at always perfect.) Society, through my experience, seems to distance themselves from what they consider flawless. Unless relatable, perfection has a negative connotation. Since perfection is so unattainable, we are all left in a mess of pity and envy towards a fantasy. Life is messy. If you are lucky, it is flawed.  This blog is not about perfection but much the opposite.

This blog is about marriage to my high school sweetheart and a medical student on his way to becoming an orthopedic surgeon.  For many, I am living the “fantasy”. For many, I am sure this blog will seem irritating for suggesting that the “dream” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. This "Want-a-be-Stepford Wife” has a career out shadowed by her soon-to-be husband. Although proud of him for so many reasons, sometime I feel like an accessory. This blog is my therapeutic release which brands my diamond sparkles in the shadow of his career. When I accepted his engagement ring as a symbol of our love, he accepted my goals and ambitions are important too.