Help! ...Rehearsal Logistics

Dilemma...

How long is the typical medical school graduation ceremony? We did research when planning the date of our wedding. The college normally holds graduation in May. We picked June 7th. Next year it's June 6th. Lovely. We thought about moving the date a week later (June 14th 2014) but that's also his mom's bday. Ortho residency would have orientation up to 2 weeks before July 1st leaving us no time for a honeymoon. As we proceed with the June 7th date right after graduation, I'm wondering if the 4 hour drive to graduation, sitting through it, driving back then going to our rehearsal dinner would even work for me and his parents or if we should go with a wedding day rehearsal brunch? My grandma really wants me to do a dinner. His mom who is paying for it wants a brunch. ... What would you guys do ? All my bridesmaids (5), my parents, and even maid of honor's parents have (without me asking or hinting) volunteered to help set it up if we chose a dinner... ugh decisions... HELP! lol

Options 1: Rehearsal and dinner Thursday (but not all the bridal party could make it)
                 Graduation and traveling on Friday
                 Wedding and reception Saturday

Option 2: Graduation, traveling, a very late rehearsal and dinner Friday (everyone could make it but super tired)
                Wedding and reception Saturday


Option 3: Graduation and travel Friday
                Rehearsal the morning of the wedding, brunch, wedding, and reception Saturday
                (Only problem here is being rushed on the wedding day and seeing each other before the wedding)

               

Please comment with thoughts.

Good news though! The actual bridesmaid dress swatch came in! Thank you to my lovely bridesmaid Amber for modeling! The dress is Jenny Yoo Fiona style in Turkish Blue. I tried so hard to get a picture of how it look in person. I swear it photographs so much darker and muted. The in person color is slightly darker version of robins egg blue. When I show people they think it's teal.

Grace, Gratitude, Regret, Forgiveness, Wisdom

I feel sorrow and regret for my written words earlier this year.

I posted sometime (maybe in Feb) that Dr. Fiance has asked for my input on his applications for away rotations. I had told him not to apply to a certain location since he has family there with severe drug problems. I felt that doing his real residency there would lead to complications with family showing up soliciting money and or exposing our future children to another world. He pretty much blew me off and said it was a good program. That was the end of it; thus, I vented online. 

Dr. Fiance's cousin died of an overdoes of heroin this past week. The funeral was yesterday. At age 26 he  left behind a wife and 2 children, 9 and 2. 

I cried a good part of today. I had only met him twice although I've been with Dr.F for almost a decade. I watched his wife cry in the front of the church as the little ones walked about the isle. It hit me that Dr. F's cousin was our age. We could very well have children that age if we made different choices or if outcomes had been different. It only takes 1 choice to change life on a different path. Dr. F's cousin was (to my knowledge) tested in school and was deemed "gifted and talented", just like Dr. F. Again just like my fiance, he had several opportunities to do good. Unfortunately, unlike my fiance, his cousin made the wrong choices.

 In physics you learn that electricity always takes the path of least resistance. Is it possible doing wrong is the path of least resistance for some? I cant help but wonder, why do we make the choices we do? These decisions happen in an instant. Spontaneous. Random. Are people prompted and pre-ordained to their destinies; and if so, for what reason?

In truth, they were raised differently. His cousin bounced from his real mom's house to his aunt's in Colorado. His biological mother suffered from drug addiction as well, leading him to move in with the other Aunt in Colorado. Not much has changed. She, the biological mom, was helped out of her home a few days before the funeral on account of too many Ativan. Google it says it's a very strong anti anxiety medicine that will cause "high" like symptoms if used without concern for the recommended dosage. Why do some people choose to expose children and adolescents to these activities? Constant exposure to adults making poor choices numbs the negative consequences to create the decision to use drugs easy. Why resist the temptation if you know and have seem the outcome. As a middle school teacher in a low income district  I am angered by this daily. In the same breath, I am grateful my job is to help curve the decisions before they are too late.  Morality is stowed by 7th grade. Family is the main hinge of morality. The pastor was careful to tip toe around these issues as she, the real mother, sat separate from her other children sobbing. 

In the greeting processional after the service, Dr. F's mother hugged me with concern, sadness, and appreciation and said, "Listen to the words in the last hymn: Count your blessings. Take care of my baby." Tears filled my eyes as I simultaneously felt the 2 year old brush around my legs. 

It is still echoing and might forever continue.

You have made more an impact than you know.

Another Reality Check Starter Home

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/5468-Rothermund-Dr-Canal-Winchester-OH-43110/80912245_zpid/

For Sale: $122,900

Zestimate^®: $151,032

Est. Mortgage: 

$517/mo 

See current rates on Zillow

• Bedrooms:4 beds
• Bathrooms:3 baths
• Single Family:2,760 sq ft
• Lot:6,490 sq ft
• Year Built:2006
• Last Sold:Mar 2007 for $166,500
• Heating Type:Forced air

 

I think this is still above your price range though. If a miracle happened and we put 10,000 down, our monthly mortgage would still be $777. Yuck. I was hoping for around 650.

Exactly 30 minutes from both our work... potentially.

Away Rotations

The Fiance is preparing to apply for away rotations...

Helpful MD track definitions:
Away Rotation: AKA "aways"...A 1(ish) month trial period at hospitals around the country applied for and completed during medical school in years 3/4 in the specialty of your choosing

Residency: Applied for during year 4 of med school. Interviews held in the winter of ms4. Match Day (AKA "The Match")  in March of MS4 is when you find out where you will complete your training immediately after graduating med school. Residency is 3 years for non surgical specialties and 5-6 years for surgical specialties. See the tab "When I Grow Up" to understand more about the residency application process.

 I am very grateful he asks my opinion where to do "aways"! From what I understand, doing an away rotation  gives you a leg up on the competition for interviews for residency at that particular hospital. Although I am very confident in his CV, very bit helps to ensure you get your top choice for "The Match". He has told me that his impression from people who have gone through this process is to NOT limit yourself. If a hospital for the residency applications see that you have only done away rotations in the Mid West then they interpret it as you are not willing to move; thus, they don't rank you or even invite you to interview. It would be in his best interest to spread out his away rotations to make sure places know he is willing to commit and move. These "aways" are quite pricey though. Each rotation cost $2000 to be there added to finding an apartment for the month, car rental, plane tickets, etc. He is looking to stay with friends or family.

This weekend we narrowed it down to an away at Mount Carmel Hospital in Columbus (since my job is near) and one in either Miami or Orlando. No guarantee he will be accepted into these hospitals for "aways" though. Updates to come!

 

Wouldn't this be nice!? (writing this in the dead of winter in Ohio)

Hair Color Quandary

Last summer I had full highlights and was pretty blonde. A full set of highlights in my neck of the woods (a good stylist) costs about $140. As much as I would love to be blonde full time, my wallet doesnt. To fix it, I went dark all over to my natural level 6 which is a light brown. Since the all over color was a demi it's since faded to this. The picture doesn't quite do it justice but the ends are really light compared to the roots which are a dull light brown. I'm just wondering if I should do an all over treatment again to get ride of the pokey highlights. ... Ombre I guess is in?. Do I want engagement pictures taken like this though? Hrm... decision decisions  Life must be good if this is my biggest problem. <3

Me

"Lizzie"

Will you marry me?

This was taken right after we got engaged about 8 months ago. Just a few days after school let out, he came to visit for the weekend. I had picked out the diamond and setting but had not yet seen them together. Dating for 8 years then I really didn't want to be surprised. I was pestering him pretty good the night he came in since the jewelry store had called me to tell me when the finalized ring would be in for pick up. haha Imperfection is perfect for me. He wasnt happy. I was full of ideas that night about how he would ask. I knew it was soon! That morning I woke up to him on one knee by the bed! :)

He later confessed to wanting wait to pop the question until we got to both our hometown to ask me by my favorite spot at my pond but thought it too mean to make me wait any longer. Love him <3

Puppies, Metal, & Diamonds

It seems like all of my co-workers are getting houses and puppies. Ok... not all... 3 of them. Dr. Fiance and I   went to a puppy store over the weekend. He wants an English Bull Dog named Tupac. I have always had German Shepards. We were very close to picking one up but cooler head prevailed thinking about our upcoming wedding.

Our next stop was to a jewelry store to look for mens wedding bands. We did find one for him. Pretty awesome design! It was I think tungsten with a copper band in the middle and had a 1/2 carat of diamonds.

JBR Jewelers in Lancaster, Ohio

Source: ibtimes.com via Caila on Pinterest

Again, knowing we had 16 months before the wedding, we ignored the sales lady's pitch about 20% off... layaway... no interest for 6 months... and walked away confident we would be back.

He said a lot of the guys wear their wedding bands on a necklace during surgery since they have to take it of to wash their hands so much. Fun Facts.

A Fractured Fairy Tale

I just had to laugh. 

Dedicated to all ortho wives in training. It's not perfect but I wouldn't have it any other way.

New Reality Show Title???? :)

The Next 16 Months Are In God’s Hands

I cannot believe the amount of LIFE that will be lived slightly more than a year. In the next 16 months, our lives will change drastically due to some factors in our control and many of them OUT of our control. We are in the stage of researching orthopedic surgery residency programs for him to apply. All these apps are due around Thanksgiving of 2013. Most who have been through the process before say that he should apply to about 50 or more of the 80 programs nationwide. The application (like everything else these days) is not without cost. I guess they operate on a “if you apply to X many programs, the price is ____ ” and “If you apply to Y many programs, the cost is _____”.  I think this will definitely eat into our honeymoon money. Sad face. Once his apps are sent into the different programs, we wait…. and wait.. until a school calls or most likely sends an email asking for us to travel to the school for a few days. AS I have said before, some schools have a “dinner” the night prior to the “real” interview just to see how your dynamic meshes with the existing/ newbies. (This gives me about 8-10 months before I need to look like a trophy fiancé. Not joking unfortunately.) My appearance is directly proportional to his first impression. No pressure.

After all he interviews have been completed, we as a couple will literally rank in terms of #’s which program we like best, 2^nd best, and so on so forth. (Spark Curiosity Here!) Where would l be ok with spending the next 5 to 7 years of my life?

We have so many options to consider!

His main concerns:

1.   Does he fit in with the staff?
2.    Does the program have a Sports Medicine Fellowship to prevent moving again?
3.    How selective/ competitive is the school interviewed? prestigious?

My main concerns:

1. How close is it to both our hometown for future Grandparents?
2.  How is the cost of living in the area?
3. Is there a job for me? Can I easily transfer my teaching license to that state?
4. Should we rank Columbus, Ohio in the top 5 simply because I have a job I LOVE already?
5.  Would buying a house or renting be more cost effective?
6.  What are childcare costs?
7. How many hours does a typical resident work at that program?
8. When it all boils down, I struggle with only one thing:

“Is a prestigious residency program worth putting my goals aside?”

The answer 9 times out of 10 is, “YES”. Although I would love for him to create a seamless transition for me and end up at OSU in Columbus, I feel so selfish. He has a great top 15% of the country Step 1 score, potential AOA, and few research articles. As far as I know, is CV looks pretty good! What if he can get into say psh…Harvard? Is it worth the cost of living and putting off having kids? I think I’m starting to surprise myself. YES! HANDS DOWN I would go to a prestigious residency program for the bragging rights! Haha. Of course, I am likely over estimating and dreaming too big. You know what though…. It gets me through the days of long distance knowing in the end this craziness will all be worth it in the end. Sigh.

Top 10 World New Ranked Ortho Programs as of 2/5/2013:

Information found at: http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/orthopedics

National Rank	Hospital	U.S. News Score
#1	Hospital for Special Surgery New York, NY See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in New York metro area and New York	100.0/100
#2	Mayo Clinic Rochester, MN See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Minnesota	85.6/100
#3	Cleveland Clinic Cleveland, OH See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Cleveland metro area and Ohio	76.6/100
#4	Massachusetts General Hospital Boston, MA See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Boston metro area and Massachusetts	70.7/100
#5	Johns Hopkins Hospital Baltimore, MD See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Baltimore metro area and Maryland	68.7/100
#6	Hospital for Joint Diseases, NYU Langone Medical Center New York, NY See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in New York metro area and New York	67.5/100
#7	Thomas Jefferson University Hospital Philadelphia, PA See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Philadelphia metro area and Pennsylvania	67.1/100
#8	Barnes-Jewish Hospital/Washington University Saint Louis, MO See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in St. Louis metro area and Missouri	66.7/100
#9	Duke University Medical Center Durham, NC See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Raleigh-Durham metro area and North Carolina	65.4/100
#10	UPMC-University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Pittsburgh, PA See Orthopedics scorecard Ranked in Pittsburgh metro area and Pennsylvania	63.5/100

 I need to start researching these teaching hospitals HARD in the next few months. Ultimately to keep from going insane, where we end up is the work of God. Everything happens for a reason.

This wedding video hit home:

"It feels like Home" might be the theme song of our wedding. After long distance and the process of moving together in a potentially new city for residency all that matters is you ARE my "home".

Song found at:

http://brookeannibale.com/Final/home.html 

Stepford Pressures

Today marks a mile stone! My closet officially is too full! (Granted I live in a one bedroom 700 sq ft apartment... but still!) I broke down and bought a free standing garment rack from Walmart for my dresses. LOVE IT. When the house is organized I just feel less stressed out!

I also made a pit stop at The Container Store. I hope it is still around in the future when I can afford more things! It's organization heaven. I got an acrylic earring holder for the bathroom and a hanging necklace peg board. My apartment got to the point that I wasn't using everything I have. Cleaning doesn't seem to be my 1st priority throughout the week after I get home from teaching middle schoolers. Weekends lately are full of driving and visiting the Fiance. In my head I have a lovely vision that will turn into a perfect housewife-HA! The reality is some training, or re-training of my ways, will definitely be needed. opps. Iron is one thing I don't hate doing so check that off the list.

Since there is nothing at all to do when I visit the Fiance in Toledo, Ohio, the mall is normally on the list. Williams And Sonoma had the most adorable aprons! Of course I begged him for one. It turns out they were out. We proceeded to go out for dinner. lol Something tells me the Stepford Wife thing isn't really in the cards for me. Meanwhile, if I get a few de-cluttering projects done, I'm happy. :) Very please with my new bedroom/wardrobe!

Fitness Organization

I swear... if mentally fighting with myself to go to the gym and eat correctly was a workout, I'd be ripped! I have every intention. Day after day I make excuses.

Then BAM! It hits me: Public accountability! I hope you guys get a picture of this once a month! :) 

It's my "You-get-a-sticker-each-time-you-workout chart". It surprisingly works! I get a green dot for lifting, orange for abs, yellow for elliptical, and pink for running at least a 5k or doing sprints. A check mark means I followed my diet on myfitnesspal.com. I am currently letting myself have 1250 calories a day. For so long I paid attention to macros and not calories... I gained 5 lbs last year... no good. 

I am such an A type personality!

Our Lives Are A Different Type of Romance

I am sadly constantly bugging him about next year and where we might live for residency. My heart goes out to him for more than one reason. He is our conversation as of tonight.

can u tell me about my life

i need it

pretend

go

now

please

lol

well you get to spend the rest of it with me!!!! dont know if that is good or bad

more

go

go

come onn lol

well we will be getting married soon which is nice then get to live together which is nicer, then after we get settled in we can start thinking about babies assuming you are in the right state of mind, then after some hard work it will pay off and we will be able to have all of the things we ever wanted

thats the most romantic thing you have ever said

im serious

smiles

He is kind of amazing.

You're the kind of boy I would make a sandwich for...

I go back and forth. Sometimes I see myself as perfect wife, house looking amazing, kids well behaved, and dinner on the table. Then I think... bahh... who has the time.  Guess we shall see when I'm married in a year and a half! haha

....somtimes....