Monday, November 23, 2015

My Own Pre vs Post Wife Expectations

What I thought being a wife would be like:
 
 
 
 
 
 
Reality:






Poetic Strength


With medical residency interviews in progress, I thought I would take time to reflect on the quotes that have resonated with me following my husband though the first years of orthopedic surgery residency. I wish I could say I have been 100% supportive through his medical journey. We, after all, started dating at age 15, went to undergrad together and, were long distance through medical school by 3 and a half hours. The reality is that being a significant other in the medical community put mildly is tough. If you are in the significant others club, you know what I’m talking about. I’ve spent my fair share of his call nights on Pinterest, panning through the motivational quotes section in our queen size bed with an English Bulldog warming my feet, German Shepard fit snuggly under the bed, without a husband beside me. My eyes look harshly at the warm glare of my phone screen against the dark background of the bedroom searching for poetic strength not to take my annoyance at our situation out on him after he has been at work for 24 hours plus. These sayings have kept me grounded and often shake my negative attitude into a positive one.


1.)    We don’t meet people by accident, they cross our paths for a reason.

I cannot believe how fortunate we are to have landed in residency in a program that feels like a family. I would have never thought that my social life would have been comparable to what it was after leaving all of our friends.  Landing residency here was a blessing.
 


2.)    How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. –Winnie the Pooh

Distance from family and friends makes you realize how many wonderful people are in your life. I am so happy when I have friends drive so far to see me. The effort alone speaks volumes about our friendship.




3.)    “I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.” –Jane Austen

 I have everything I need.

 

4.)    “Success is not convenient… it leads to a life of convenience.”

 We live our 20's to work, 30's for family, and 40's to enjoy the fruit of the tree we planted 20 years prior. Intelligence is not just getting an A on a test but realizing that gratification does not have to be instantaneous. Waiting is often against social norms but is in fact acceptable. Long hours = bigger checks someday. Be patient.

 

5.)    Most women want a man that’s already established. A strong woman will be a part of his struggle, survive it, succeed together, and build an empire.

 Having a common goal  in our marriage makes us stronger.

 

6.)    The things you take for granted someone else is praying for.

It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of only noticing how much your significant other is not home and how much time they might spend studying. It takes a special strength to not see your husband for the “80 hour work week rule” (cough cough… 100 hour work week) to then have him come home and retreat to the basement to read for lecture the next morning. It hard to take care of the house alone, prep all the food, and keep 2 dogs and a cat from killing each other while working 50 hours per week. It’s nuts; and I’m pretty impressed at myself honestly! In the midst of all the crazy, it’s so easy to look around and forget how nice our first house actually turned out to be, that we have food in the refrigerator, have money left over at the end of the month, and have a husband who is working his ass off every day for our family’s future betterment.

 


7.)    Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.

 

 
8.)    Growth happens at the end of your comfort zone.

The most fun I've ever had was because of a situation that made me uncomfortable. Just jump. It all works out in the end.





9.)    Life does not owe you anything. Not happiness, wealth, power, success, or love. It is your job to create that for yourself.

The more work you put in to anyone of those areas, the more satisfaction you get out. Staying in does not help any of it. Push yourself to get out and make new friends. Try new things. If you are lucky enough to be placed area with people of different backgrounds, use it as a learning experience.


 
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